AS LONG AS YOU KEEP SECRETS and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself. The critical issue is allowing yourself to REALLY KNOW what you are SUPPOSED to KNOW. That takes an enormous amount of courage. You MUST KNOW better than any other person knows what you are up to. This will only materialise because you will SPEND MORE TIME with yourself than other individuals do.

If BEYONDISM is to keep you fresh from the scruples of guilt, and from working only by obsolete formulas, and feeds your inspiration, you should appreciate the fact that, every human being is circumstantially neurotic, in one way or the other. Neurosis, is basically an emotional disturbance, usually not so severe as to prevent an individual from functioning in normal society. At bottom, Neuroticism is a tendency to anxiety that particularly affects neurotic, typically to the point of having a significant negative impact on their lives (and often of those around them).

In the face of adverse circumstances, you are apt to develop certain defense attitudes or strategies, that permit you to cope with the world, and afford a certain measure of gratification. Where they become exaggerated or inappropriate, these strivings are referred to as Neurotic Trends. Neurosis is a distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself, which is determined by compulsive needs rather than by a genuine interest in the world as it is.

Neurosis is transmitted to a child from his or her early environment. The people in the environment may be too wrapped up in their own neurosis to be able to love the child, or even to conceive of him or her as the particular individual he or she is; their attitudes toward him or her are determined by their own neurotic needs and responses. The child’s initial reality is then distorted by his or her parents’ needs and pretenses. Growing up with neurotic caretakers, the child quickly becomes insecure and develops “basic anxiety”. To deal with this anxiety, the child’s imagination creates an idealised self-image.

Each person builds up his or her personal idealised image from the materials of his or her own special experiences, his or her earlier fantasies, his or her particular needs, and also his or her given faculties. If it were not for the personal character of the image, he or she would not attain a feeling of identity and unity.

SEVEN therapeautic tonics to loftily LOCATE your LIFE’s BASIC BEARING:

1. BASICALLY, one idealises, to begin with, one’s particular “solution” of one’s basic conflict. And what appears as shortcomings or flaws are always dimmed out or retouched.
2. ESSENTIALLY, compliance becomes goodness; love, saintliness; aggression becomes strength; leadership, heroism, omnipotence; aloofness becomes wisdom; self-sufficiency, independence.
3. AFTER identifying oneself with one’s idealised image, one will make claims on others and on LIFE based on the prestige one feels entitled to because of one’s idealised self-image.
4. RIGOROUS set of standards upon oneself, is what one imposes in order to try to measure up to that image. One cultivates a sort of vulnerable pride that lacks any foundation.
5. INCAPACITATED by poor frame of reference, one will consequently despise him or herself for all his or her limitations. Vicious circles will operate to strengthen all of these effects.
6. NOW, as one grows, a particular “solution” to all the inner conflicts and vulnerabilities will solidify; will be expansive and display symptoms of narcissism, perfectionism, or vindictiveness.
7. GENERALLY, one will be self-effacing and compulsively compliant; will display symptoms of neediness or codependence. Or will be resigned and will display schizoid tendencies.

Mild anxiety disorders and full-blown personality disorders, all fall under the basic scheme of neurosis. These are considered to be variations in the degree of severity, and in the individual dynamics. When young, and as you develop your sense of identity, you may tend to idealise this identity. But then, you realise that you are not perfect, and so start to hate yourself. When not resolved, this self-loathing may be directly related to the neurotic needs.

The opposite of neurosis is a condition which is called SELF-REALISATION. This is a state of being in which the person responds to the world with the full depth of his or her spontaneous feelings, rather than with anxiety-driven compulsion. Thus the person grows to actualise his or her inborn potentialities. This may be compared to an acorn seedling that grows and becomes a mighty Oak.

Here is BEYONDISM FORMIDABLE FORMULA for SELF-ACTUALIZATION
(The ‘head’ and ‘tail’ of Activating your SELFHOOD) in regard to:
Exposing your possible emotional disturbances with an aim of handling them.

1. FEELING of excessive enjoyment in having power over others and a craving for more, is megalomania.
   Core Choice #29: It is a psychiatric disorder, in which one experiences delusions of being very important.
   Sure Score #29: Its fount is a sense of being crushed, leading to insanity, fantasies or even hallucinations.
2. ONE (neurotic) is driven by equally compelling forces in opposite directions; and wants to follow none.
   Solid Stance #29: One’s gaze on account of feeling of uncertainty, is directed far into the future.
   Catalysing Consideration #29: All present existence is only a preparation; one is not free to choose.
3. ROGUE pretenses resorted by neurotic to bridge the gap between real and idealised self, only widens it.
   Mighty Mission #29: In paranoia, the defenses are chiefly aimed at annihilating the ‘persecutors.’
   Vivid Vision #29: While anxiety on the ego’s account, occupies a prominent place in the picture.
4. MOST neurotics wish to diminish the inner feeling of inferiority, by constant proofs of their superiority.
   Gaining Ground #29: The extreme neurotic individual, is a potential killjoy and typical peace destroyer.
   Capturing Clouds #29: One is busy trying to deify one’s own guiding line, and to cross those of others.
5. UNLIKE psychotics who make others suffer, neurotics suffer from LIFE’s problems; newness bring havoc.
   Lofty Leap #29: One gives a symbolic style to oneself, to one’s experiences, and to persons about oneself.
   Merry Momentum #29: One imagines oneself unsatiated and belittled; real gratification IS unattainable.
6. LAUDABLE craving for security, leads one to seek the protection of the parent, God, drugs, or an idea.
   Holy Hearken #29: Neurotic suffering is not what the person consciously wants, but what one subtly pays.
   Divine Distinction #29: The satisfaction one aims at is not suffering itself, but a relinquishment of the self.
7. ALL compulsive drives are specifically neurotic; born of feelings of isolation, helplessness and fear.
   Prudent Planting #29: They represent ways of coping with the world, despite these feelings.
   Hoped Harvest #29: Their compulsive character, is due to the anxiety lurking behind them.

#29. To the extent I want to be diligent in any ADVERSE circumstance,
How should I REACT in a manner that is personally nourishing?

You go through life feeling needy of affection, approval and attention from others.
You thus focus on the “outside” while disconnecting with your inner space of being.
Neediness always arises from lack based thinking and a perverse self-critical mindset.
If you are self-critical you will always seek approval and affection outside yourself.
You end up becoming “needy” in your behaviour, which is a highly toxic mindset.
A lack based mindset causes you to think that you need to “cling” to someone.
You feel that life will not bring in new/better relationship if you let go of this one.

You fail to handle confrontation and start to shake or lose control of your voice pitch.
You may feel you want to hit out and perhaps cannot control your thoughts properly.
It can be frustrating when someone is putting you down and you cannot argue back.
You have got a touch of confrontation jitters; this is basically the ‘flight or fight’ syndrome.
‘Fight’ kicks in and pumps adrenaline throughout your body in readiness to kick someone.
‘Flight’ simply arouses your readiness to run away from someone you think might kick you.
But it is emotionally healthy to learn how to confront issues without being confrontational.

Isolation is the experience of being separated from others socially or emotionally.
Social isolation is the perception of being removed from others or a community.
The experience of solitude is simply the state of being alone, usually by choice.
Taking time to be alone can be a healthy, rejuvenating and refreshing experience.
It allows you to reconnect with your own needs, goals, beliefs, values, and feelings.
But when you experience too much solitude you feel socially isolated from others.
You may develop feelings of loneliness, social anxiety, helplessness, or depression.

#29. I, ___________________________, fully committed to letting go of the toxicity of NEEDINESS IN MY RELATIONSHIPS, do DECISIVELY DECLARE that a lot of people look at an intimate relationship as a vista through which they can fulfill the “incompleteness” that they feel within themselves. They want their partner to fulfill them and thus feel completely justified in being “dependent” on their partner’s attention and affection. This dependence can feel good for a while but soon enough it would start suffocating the partner involved. I have realised that the reason why a lot of relationships that start off with a lot of passion seem to become highly toxic in sometime is because most humans cannot tolerate an overdose of dependence (emotional or physical) from anyone for long. Unfortunately a lot of people mistake their neediness for their “passion” or love. They feel they are being passionate towards their partner when in truth they might just be “possessive”, needy and overly dependent. The best relationships get attracted when I am rooted in a sense of “fulfillment” within myself. When I feel “complete” in myself, I will always attract a partner who reflects this sense of abundance back at me.

In this reference, as a BLESSED BEYONDIST, I hereby, make an ABSOLUTE AFFIRMATION that, when I fully accept myself as I am, I will always attract a partner who will accept me fully and would align with me in a way that serves my growth and well-being. The paradox is that in order to attract a happy relationship I first need to be happy/fulfilled with myself – actually this is the secret to attracting any form of abundance into my LIFE. The only way I can align with a harmonious external reality is by dis-identifying with the mindset of neediness. When I observe my mind it will be quite clear that neediness is just a “thought pattern” and it is really my choice whether I want to bestow my attention/belief/interest to these thought or if I would rather align with thoughts of abundance. My present reality is the way it is because of my present mindset. If my present reality is rooted in lack, it is time I started letting go of elements/thought-patterns in my mind that are attracting this unwanted experiences into my reality. Neediness is the most toxic thought pattern that most people are rooted in and letting go of it, is essential to allowing the influx of harmony and abundance in my reality.

#29. I, ___________________________, fully committed to confront issues without being CONFRONTATIONAL, do DECISIVELY DECLARE that there is a big difference between argument and discussion. In a discussion, there is respect on both sides. It is two people listening to one another’s viewpoints and coming to some kind of agreement, compromise, or understanding. In an argument, there is no respect. It is two people with very different viewpoints who are trying to convince one another that the other is wrong. Since when does anyone ever convince someone else that he or she is wrong? It does not matter how logical I am about it. When feelings are involved, both people can be simultaneously right and wrong. In a discussion, I should get to openly and directly address the feelings behind the action or situation. In an argument, the feelings get trampled on. I have realised that no one wins in an argument. There are only losers and sore losers. Everybody wins in a discussion. There are understandings and solutions. If I pattern the communication in my relationships to be discussions instead of arguments, then I will have more harmonious and productive relationships. Anytime I am in a discussion with someone and that person attempts to turn it into an argument, I will say in a gentle, but firm tone, ‘This is not an argument; it is a discussion’. If a discussion degenerates into an argument, I will simply refuse to participate. As they say, it takes two to tango. When the person wants to bring it back to a discussion, I will get back in the conversation.

In this reference, as a BLESSED BEYONDIST, I hereby, make an ABSOLUTE AFFIRMATION that, I will never have a discussion with someone when I am angry. If my emotions are involved, I need to take some time to step away from the situation and evaluate the best course of action. Maybe even consult a close friend who is also a direct communicator to give me some advice on what to say. Anger is not a true emotion. It is a masking emotion that usually hides the true emotion of hurt or fear. If I am angry at someone, chances are I am actually hurt by them or afraid of them or some aspect of the situation. I need to take the time to figure out the source of my anger and deal with the true emotion. It will not do any good to tell a person, “I am mad at you.” That never works. The person will feel my anger is not justified and will not understand me. It is much more effective to say, “It hurt me when you ignored me the other day” or “I am afraid you are losing interest in me.” I have realised that there are some people in this world who just like to fight and argue. If I prefer peace, harmony, tranquility, happiness, and healthy relationships in my LIFE, this requires preparation and work, but it is completely worth it. Like any good habit, once I take the time to develop it into my LIFE, it becomes easy and second nature. After awhile, I might even wonder how I lived my LIFE before I communicated this way.