ii. Precisely speaking, it is much easier, of course, to observe defense processes at work in someone else than to recognise them within ourselves; however, you can spot them. Have you ever “forgotten” an important event, such as an assigned test or a dentist appointment? You may also recall momentarily forgetting the name of someone you know quite well. Such activities indicate the tendency we all have to repress. Memory gaps on childhood events, in which you can recall only part of an event but not what preceded or followed, may indicate that the event involved certain traumatic elements that make it hard for you to remember it completely. Have your parents ever told you about an experience that you had as a child but cannot remember?

iii. In any case, do you have any phobias that you know are unrealistic such as fear of dogs or of flying? In such instances, you may really be afraid of some of your own inner impulses and may have projected your fear onto an external objects that makes it easier to handle. Have you ever found yourself laughing at an inappropriate moment? You may have compensated for an impulse you are ashamed of by reaction formation. Do you have any persistent immature habits, such as pouting and sulking when things do not go your way? Such behaviours may be signs of fixation.

iv. Through hiding behind the curtains of Denial you tend to run away from situations in which you may seem unable to face reality or admit an obvious truth. Denial is an outright refusal to admit or recognise that something has occurred or is currently occurring. Drug addicts or alcoholics often deny that they have a problem, while victims of traumatic events may deny that the event ever occurred. Denial functions to protect the ego from things that the individual cannot cope with. While this may save you from anxiety or pain, denial also requires a substantial investment of energy. In many cases, there might be overwhelming evidence that something is true, yet you will continue to deny its existence or truth because it is too uncomfortable to face. Denial can involve a flat out rejection of the existence of a fact or reality. In other cases, it might involve admitting that something is true, but minimising its importance. Sometimes you will accept reality and the seriousness of the fact, but you will deny your own responsibility and instead blame other people or other outside forces.

v. Occassionally, do you provided alibis for something you did or did not do? Could it have been an attempt to rationalise your behaviour? Can you recall ever taking out your anger on someone who was helpless, such as a child or pet? Use of scapegoats is a common form of displacement. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves (“multiple personality disorder”).

vi. Most of the time, through sublimation you may have been able to redirect certain antisocial impulses into socially approved mechanisms available to you, like hobbies or sports. Compensation is a process of counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasising strength in other areas. By emphasising and focusing on your strengths, you may recognise you cannot be strong at all things and in all areas in your LIFE. When done appropriately and not in an attempt to over-compensate, compensation is defense mechanism that helps reinforce a person’s self-esteem and self-image.

vii. Eemphasising your needs or thoughts in a manner that is respectful, direct and firm is Assertiveness. Communication styles exist on a continuum, ranging from passive to aggressive, with assertiveness falling neatly in between. People who are passive and communicate in a passive manner tend to be good listeners, but rarely speak up for themselves or their own needs in a relationship. People who are aggressive and communicate in an aggressive manner tend to be good leaders, but often at the expense of being able to listen empathetically to others and their ideas and needs. People who are assertive strike a balance where they speak up for themselves, express their opinions or needs in a respectful yet firm manner, and listen when they are being spoken to.