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2A/3P which is the brand name for this SELF-ACTUALIZATION Model simply means “African Assertiveness / Provoking Positive Perceptions”. African Assertiveness implies believing that you have ‘answers’ to the problems besetting you, and assuming total responsibility for the sacrifice required in order to arrive to the solution. This is a purely individual enterprise which can only be achieved only if you Provoke Positive Perceptions.

Clearing the rubbish heap of all those valuations that makes you a weakling and despicable, and entering the treasure house where all great, unselfish and heroic motives of human beings abode, should be the supreme goal of any Assertive African.

A fundamental ‘existential’ fact is that in the back of your mind, in the album of your consciousness, there is a page which when keenly looked at may reveal various answers to most of your problems. Your only difficulty is identifying the page. So you are called upon to seize the moment and take an inventory and a catalogue of yourself by outlining and striving to fight those obstacles which stand on your road towards attaining your essential nature and prevent you from living up to your basic and real humanness.

As a human being, you have an inherent self-actualizing tendency, which assists you to meet your needs, develop a positive view about yourself and interact effectively with others.

Identifying and naming all the negative forces in your LIFE, is the springboard upon which you can liberate yourself from the bondage of their inhibitive, as well as downgrading influence. Listen to Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950): “If a person cannot look evil in the face without illusions, he or she will never know what it really is or how to combat it effectively”.
vivendo
Distilled Determinants


S E L F H O O D _ S T E P _ # 2
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ASTUTELY AFFIRMING your ‘Distilled Determinants’ MUST be your second major ‘Mortal Mission’. This is gorgeously grounded on your distinguished ‘Divine Duty’, to Stimulate Sound DISPOSITIONS. As an ennobling encouragement to you ......., to ‘gain more insight about yourself and awaken all the latent abilities’, BEYONDISM reflectively seeks to “CLARIFY” your response to the PROMPTINGS (not really questions) No. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11 consecutively.

The THERAPEAUTIC TARGET here is: To zero in, and unearth your underlying emotions, and to arouse the inherent competitiveness in you, to be a winner in something. --->

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2. Unearthing the deep secrets of your GENDER.

3. Effects of Birth-Order on your INCLINATIONS.

4. Childhood ATMOSPHERE (Parent-Child relation).

5. A CHALLENGE you may be facing in your FAMILY.

6. A HURDLE you may be encountering in Institution.

7. A FEELING which occupies you most of the times.

8. Your sometimes NEGATIVE view of your BODY.

9. A mode of CONCLUDING you need to counteract.

10. Your fundamental and essential STYLE of LIFE.

Your DISTILLED DETERMINANTS should lead you to TRUTH

SEVEN modes of synchronising yourself to the SOLEMN SEASONS of LIFE:

THERAPEAUTIC TREASURE #2

“Never apologize for what you feel. It’s like apologizing for being real.”
- American rapper Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. alias Lil Wayne (b. 1982)
--->

1. Submitting yourself to natural patterns:--->

TRUTH is wholeheartedly dancing to the musical beat of one’s historical time.
TRUTH is channeling your aspirations as per the demands of the season.
TRUTH is enjoying and appreciating each moment and making the best of it.
TRUTH connotes seriously taking and verily loving each and every moment.
TRUTH is total commitment to shed off the weight and fat of all inhibitions.
TRUTH entails closer observation and realisation of all fathoming imperatives.
TRUTH is found in reconciliation of our overriding thoughts and deep feelings.

2. Essentially shaking or reexamining your cherished belief:--->

The culture tends to burn precepts in our minds that are really hard to shake.
In the midst of critical challenges, the cultured mind may fall a step behind.
One focuses more on learned rules than on the changing circumstances in crisis.
When faced with a new situation, it is often best to imagine you know nothing.
By ignoranting your mind, you arouse the need to start learning all over again.
Clear your head of everything you thought you knew, even your cherished ideas.
This will give you the mental space to be educated by your present experience.

3. Affirming to erase memories of past success:--->

Develop your own strategic muscles instead of depending on other’s theories.
Your rule of thumb should be: after success convince yourself it was a failure.
As a result you will never get drunk on your success; keeping your mind firing.
In this way you will never repeat the same strategy in the next encounter.
Rather you will acquire the creativity to think through each situation a new.
Start focusing on what is happening in your LIFE right now, above all else.
Attention to the present details is by far the best way to crowd out the past.

4. Soulfully churning the excitement of the world:--->

Your mind should never stop, learn fast, for the world around is ever exciting.
Be open to new experiences and seek to absorb as much of them as possible.
When you feel frustrated or upset, find some creative way to fulfill your wish.
Then quickly forget the problem as something new crossed your path of growth.
Strive to see things as they are; always be sensitive to dangers and opportunities.
Keeping up with changing circumstances requires a great deal of mental fluidity.
Strategists act not according to preconceived ideas; they respond to the moment.

5. Outrightly keeping the mind on toes:--->

Your mind should always be moving, and you should always be excited and curious.
You should seek to quickly forget the past, for the present is too much interesting.
LIFE is defined by movement, and therefore what does not move is virtually dead.
What has speed and mobility has more possibilities, more enriching, and more LIFE.
Whenever you find your mind revolving around an obsession, force them past it.
Find something new to be absorbed by, something worthy concentrated attention.
Do not waste time on things you cannot change or influence; just keep moving.

6. Nourishingly absorbing the spirit of the times:--->

Attune yourself to the spirit of the times; utilise new technologies and social order.
Developing antennae for the trends that have yet to crest takes work and study.
Cultivating flexibility to adapt to those trends, requires a high degree of sensitivity.
As you proceed in your developmental process you should always alter your style.
Never allow yourself to stay sentimentally attached to some fashion of days gone by.
By constantly adapting and changing your style, you will avoid the former pitfalls.
In your unpredictability, just when people feel they know you, you will change.

7. Setting your sails in the search of TRUTH:--->

TRUTH entails earnest striving and longing to be our real ones, in disregard of opinions.
TRUTH is to be found in the reverence of our esteemed goals, in line with our abilities.
TRUTH implies becoming free and endeavouring to be whatever our nature deserves.
TRUTH entails invoking the will, freedom and choice to live a fully functioning LIFE.
TRUTH is the relative finishing point in the finite succession of all ends and means.
TRUTH is when there is an absolute reverence in the journey and celebration in destiny.
TRUTH is inconceivable outside our relatedness, participation and consciousness to it.









Here now flows (hover below) the BEYONDISM distilled definition of:--->
Testing Realising Unearthing Taking Honouring

Testing and approving anything in regard to consequences.
Realising the relativity and transiency of all ideals and values.
Unearthing the subtle reasons beneath surface manifestations.
Taking no principle as fixed and practical in all circumstances.
Honouring everything that is real and positive in ourselves.

The point in transmitting knowledge is the easiness and humbleness to do it. “Brevity is the mother of wit,” so said shakespeare. Our STIMULATING SUMMARY rests on the ground of SOUND SIMPLICITY. “Simplify and simplify, until all contamination from relative, contradictory thinking is eliminated,” so taught Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (570 - 490 BC). Simplicity may also be called ‘The Ockham’s Razor’ as derived from English philosopher and scholastic theologian William of Ockham (1285 - 1349), known as Doctor Invincibilis (Latin, “unconquerable doctor”) and Venerabilis Inceptor (Latin, “worthy initiator”), who suggested that explanations ought to be as simple as possible: “Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily. No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary.” Listen to German-born U.S. physicist Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955): “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

SELFHOOD RATING
8,9,10,11,12,13,14.

“I’m just feelin’ my vibe right now. I’m feelin’ myself,” so sung American rapper Desiigner (b. 1997). “Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man,” so taught sir Francis Bacon. “Some books are to be tasted,” also reads a famous passage by Bacon, “others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested”. Does The CODE to ACTIVATE your SELFHOOD qualify to be numbered among the few books that deserve to be chewed and digested? Rarely shall you find such a balanced diet, so admirably dressed and flavoured, in so magnificient a dish. But to boost your appetite, this section is imperative.--->


R#8. On finding yourself unable to benefit from the momentary EXPERIENCE.
O thee TAO, behold, Critically CULTIVATE your sincere strive to ESTEEM EXPERIENCE.--->

  1. SURELY, the only genuine welcome of LIFE, is to encounter every time, the reality of experience.
  2. UNDERSTAND that, daily experience becomes beneficial only when it is sucked into one’s LIFE.
  3. MUCH of practical learning is not worth a single penny when courage and joy are lost along the way.
  4. MOST of the times, in your accumulation of experience, duly expect to encounter all possible dangers.
  5. ALWAYS assert that you expect you shall be a student to the ultimate end of your days in this world.
  6. READILY, people learns more from their mistakes, not from example; so never forget a wrong done.
  7. YOUR extensive experience and the intensity of your wisdom, will make people look at you in awe.

R#9. On PROUDLY feeling that you can do things better than anyone else.
O thee BB, behold, Critically CULTIVATE your sincere strive to PURGE PRIDE.--->

  1. SELF-LOVE and self-respect are virtues to be esteemed in LIFE; but it is critically vital to annihilate pride.
  2. UNDERTAKE to love yourself and to respect yourself as though your very LIFE depends fully upon this.
  3. MOST proud people scorns being around somebody more knowledgeable than them; it aggravates them.
  4. MUCH of pride disdains change, and is enemy to learning. Pride then leads to stagnation and decadence.
  5. AS long as you live, do not expect unanimity of opinion upon critical matters, or in most important issues.
  6. RESPECT other people, but remember that when they always AGREE with you, perhaps you are wrong.
  7. YOU have a right to utter what you think is true, and to knock another down for it; martyrdom is the test.

R#10. On liking ADVICING and telling others what to do or not.
O thee TAO, behold, Intimately IRRIGATE your hallowed hope to AVOID ADVISING.--->

  1. SUBTLE influence over another comes not from a moment’s eloquence nor from any happily chosen word.
  2. UNINHIBITED, solid persuasion is from the accumulation of a lifetime’s thoughts stored up in the eyes.
  3. MERRILY, the only way you can attempt to influence another is by encouraging one to think for oneself.
  4. MOST lethal, endeavouring to instill ready-made opinions into the other person’s head is pure trespass.
  5. AVOID the penalties of the tresspass game. Being just a creature, keep off the issues of other creatures.
  6. REAL equanimity is the hallmark of spirituality; neither chasing nor avoiding but just being in the middle.
  7. YOUR influence is completely dependent on how precise is the information that you get from a person.

R#11. On JUDGING others without justification, or on the basis of rumours.
O thee BB, behold, Proactively PROPAGATE your awakened aspiration to JUSTIFY JUDGEMENT.--->

  1. STOP condemning, instead try to understand. If you aspire nobleness, be curious, not judgemental.
  2. UNTOLD stories of pain and sadness are what make others love and live a bit differently than you.
  3. MOST of the time, judging a person does not define who they are. It basically defines who you are.
  4. MUST be like the honest judge who knows nothing unless it has been explained to him three times.
  5. AVOID being a MORALIST who boastly considers other people’s life-style a ‘Crime in Progress’.
  6. REALLY, when one judges you, it is not actually about you. It is about them and their insecurities.
  7. YOU should stop judging how far people still have to go. Start celebrating how far they have come.

R#12. On ARROGANTLY stopping a discussion with: “I know what I am talking about”.
O thee TAO, behold, Natively NURTURE your wondrous wish to ANNULL ARROGANCE.--->

  1. SEE basic humility as not a peculiar habit of self-effacement, like for instance having an inaudible voice.
  2. UNDERSTAND it as a selfless respect for reality, and one of the most difficult and central of all virtues.
  3. MOSTLY, humility is a virtue many people preach, few practice, and yet everybody is content to hear.
  4. MASTERS thinks it a good doctrine for their servants, the laity for the clergy, and the clergy for the laity.
  5. ALL talent is God given; be humble. Fame is man-given; be grateful. Conceit is self-given; be careful.
  6. REAL humbleness is going to keep you true to yourself; and always to make you remember who you are.
  7. YES, God will have a humble people. Either we choose to be humble, or we can be compelled to be so.

R#13. On being LISTENED to, or have the last word, in most discussions.
O thee BB, behold, Reverentially REAP your deep desire to LOVE LISTENING.--->

  1. SEE talking as only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
  2. UNDERSTANDING another person, that is, listening is often the only thing needed to help someone.
  3. MOREOVER, listening to others viewpoints may reveal the one thing needed to complete your goals.
  4. MOST people never listen, when other people talk. Listening is being PRESENT, not just being quiet.
  5. ACTUALLY, the word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT. To be silent is to listen.
  6. REAL WISDOM is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have rather talked.
  7. YOU must listen compassionately with only one purpose: to HELP the other to empty his or her heart.

R#14. On having the tendency of brooding over DISAPPOINTMENTS or defeat.
O thee TAO, behold, Reverentially REAP your deep desire to DISREGARD DISAPPOINTMENTS.--->

  1. SETBACK to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, but never destroys it.
  2. USUALLY, none of us are ever going to get to the place in LIFE where we have no disappointments.
  3. MOVE through daily LIFE by boldly accepting finite disappointment, but never losing infinite HOPE.
  4. MAJOR disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in illusory expectations.
  5. ACTUALLY, we must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of disappointment.
  6. REAL disenchantment - a minor or a major shock - is the signal that things are moving into transition.
  7. YES, disappointment may not be an easy thing to face, but is an inevitable feeling all humans face.


THERAPEAUTIC TEACHING #2:


#I. The 2nd AFRICAN AFFIRMATION:

  1. “He who takes counsel only from himself meets no hatred”.
    - Kikuyu (Kenya) proverb

  2. “We are what our thinking makes us”.
    - Yoruba (Nigeria) proverb

  3. “The eyes of the trapper are as subject to reddening as those of the small animal (that he pursues)”.
    - Buganda (Uganda) proverb

  4. “A little pleasure is nevertheless a pleasure”.
    - Kikuyu (Kenya) proverb

  5. “Better to stumble with the toe than with the tongue”.
    - Swahili (Kenya) proverb

  6. “When an only Kolanut is presented with love, it carries with it more than might otherwise be associated with a whole pod of several Kolanuts”.
    - Yoruba (Nigeria) proverb

  7. “The pants of today are better than the breeches of tomorrow”.
    - Moore (Burkina Faso) proverb

#II. The 2nd SACRED STANDING:

  1. “May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure”.
    - BIBLE, Psalm 144:12

  2. “For freedom, Christ has set us free; stand fast therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery”.
    - BIBLE, Galatians 5:1

  3. “And I tell you, Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
    - BIBLE, Luke 11:9

  4. “And whatever affliction that befalls you, it is on account of what your hand have wrought”.
    - QURAN, Ash-Shu’ra 42:30

  5. “And this world’s life is nothing but a play and an idle sport”.
    - QURAN, Anam 6:32

  6. “That no bearer of a burden shall bear the burden of another and that is man acquires only what he strives for”.
    - QURAN, An Najm 53:38-39

  7. “One who performs, his duty without attachment, surrendering the results unto the Supreme Lord, is unaffected by sinful action, as the lotus leaf is untouched by water”.
    – BHAGAVAD-GITA, Karma-Yoga Action in Krsna Consciousness, V:10
#III. The 1st ASSERTIVENESS ARITHMETIC:

You have a _______ preference of ADVANCEMENT over INERTIA (____%). N.B. To get your REAL RATING, you MUST respond to SELFHOOD RATING in the BEYONDIST SELFHOOD CODE. SO WHAT? Here is your TIMELY THERAPY.--->

You have a _______ preference of ADVANCEMENT over INERTIA (____%). N.B. To get your REAL RATING, you MUST respond to SELFHOOD RATING in the BEYONDIST SELFHOOD CODE. SO WHAT? Here is your TIMELY THERAPY.--->

FOCUS + COMMITMENT = ADVANCEMENT

FOCUS is measured by the ability to shut out distractions, and place emphasis on what needs to be done in your LIFE, so as to progress forward. COMMITMENT is a measure of focus. Commitment puts meaningful action behind your chosen goals, without wavering in your intention. Work performed deliberately, consciously and intentionally with laser-like focus, is summed up in the result of knowing how to advance in LIFE. There is nothing lazy or unclear about a successful person’s intention and subsequent action. ADVANCEMENT is the result of being attuned to every move, and decision made in the achievement of your goals in a calculated fashion.



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TOP UP your ADVANCEMENT. Your Specific Score in regard to your Valiant Voyage in the SELFHOOD-SEARCH SEA, towards the Holy Harbour of your Active SELFHOOD stands at ____ points out of 49 points.

HASTEN your IMPROVEMENT. Low score in this parameer, entails failing to focus on the immense personal resources at your disposal. In as much as you may allow yourself to be derailed by others; tending to copy what they are doing, you will have buried your talents into oblivion. If you fail to concentrate or narrow down to a certain task, as your mind keeps on wandering, you will find achieving your goals being very hard.

EXISTENTIALLY, it is the essential extent to which you know that you have within yourself what it takes to achieve great feats in this world, as immense and unbounded blessing will infinitely accrue unto you.

READILY, it is the meritorious measure of getting focused on the NOW as the most opportune time for action, and dedicating your energies thereof, as you will have kept regrets and failure away.

APPARENTLY, this is the diligent degree you will stop clinging to obsolete old ideas which are not applicable in the present changed circumstances.

PRUDENTLY, when you will have passionately travelled this road you will tune yourself to change and growth, by continually acquiring new relevant and timely information and the world will be yours to conquer.

YOUR categorical compass to Locate your BEARING here is ‘Complete Immersal’. LIFE is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.




Successful Studentship #2:

Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle you face in LIFE.
Be one of the best students; who are the ones that are motivated to be successful.
Likewise students who lack motivation are the ones who are the hardest to reach.
Do not be amongst those who are often in trouble, and eventually drop out of school.
Being focused you will be motivated to learn, be easy to teach, want to be at school.
Good teachers will figure out how to motivate those focused students in someway.
Students who are self-motivated are far easier to reach than those who are not.

The underlying 2nd Perceptive Principle is based on the analogy of an Eagle:
Eagles HAVE STRONG VISION

  • Eagles have sharp and clear vision, which focuses up to 5 kilometers from the air.
  • When an Eagle sites prey- even a rodent from this distance, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it.
  • No matter what obstacles come, the Eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.--->


#IV. The 2nd POTENT POWER:

i. MONK MODE #2--->

You cannot go in Monk Mode half way or half-hearted; either in or you are not.
It is a struggle in the beginning, but it will become a beneficial yet addictive lifestyle.
The rewards you reap from Monk Mode, is gaining a sound sense of direction.
The power you feel from the self-control will feed your growth immeasurably.
This will basically allow you to project confidence both inwardly and outwardly.
You will minimise your time contribution to social obligations and junk activities.
You will shun those activities that consume your time whilst yielding zero to LIFE.

ii. WITTY WARFARE #3--->
Cast away or keep off the demons of DRUG ABUSE.

A hooked drug abuser or a perennial alcoholic is basically an existential coward.
In the face of stark realities of this competitive world, he or she simply coils away.
Drink and any other drug provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.
Drug abuse is temporary suicide; for the happiness it brings is merely negative.
Drug abuse is for those with woes, sorrows, strive, complains and psychic wounds.
Drug abuse is for most part socially transmitted as well as individually acquired.
The process of addiction can be avoided or reversed by boosting one’s self-esteem.


iii. WITTY WARFARE #4--->
Fueling/transforming ANGER into CREATIVITY.

Negative emotions sometimes stifle creativity, but can also be used to spark it.
Negative emotions could basically help you to focus longer while brainstorming.
When you are in a bad mood, it may be best to return to a difficult problem.
It may also be essential to focus particularly on a project that has stalled out.
Think of the negative emotion as fuel that you can burn on the path to creation.
The negative emotions might just help you dig deeper into the problem issue.
And find a solution your happier self would never have uncovered in any manner.


iv. ADORABLE ANTIDOTE #3--->
SITUATIONAL SUFFOCATION: - Social factors that strangle one’s aspirations and ideals.

Persons from oppressive backgrounds are shy, unassertive and full of self-doubt.
When the social atmosphere is suffocating, the natural adventurism is curtailed.
Avoid all situations where your personality is crushed, and originality suppressed.
Affirm the spiritual freedom which will drive you to discovery and movement.
Never be submissive, no matter the excess of the oppressive subjecting force.
Inner harmony is attained by making strategic terms with the environment.
Always draw from your being a better, refined and harmonious existential music.


v. ADORABLE ANTIDOTE #4--->
SLAVISH SUPERSTITIOUSNESS: - Attributing actions to the uncontrollable forces of nature.

Superstition sets the whole world in flames but knowledge quenches them.
Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition.
Superstitions are empty formulas that must be replaced by a scientific world view.
You should enlarge your mental horizons, cultivating the senses of adventurism.
Acquisitiveness and self-discipline are psychic strengths vital in this business of living.
A zealous spiritual devotion to work will drive you towards unsuspected ends.
You should believe that labour and industry is your prima facie duty towards God.


vi. STOUT SPIRIT #3--->

It is through conflicts that problems are often solved and differences reconciled.
Our successes and failures in LIFE are determined by how we deal with conflicts.
We are tempted to avoid all conflict, get emotional or become manipulative.
Because these ways are not under rational control they worsen the situation.
Strategic warriors use indirection, making their manipulations hard to trace.
They think ahead toward their long-term goals and decide which fights to avoid.
They know the inevitable fights, and how to control and channel their emotions.

vii. STOUT SPIRIT #4--->

If you encounter positive people they may be utterly aware of the game.
They may have control over their LIFE (intelligent enough to be free).
Negative people are too stupid to understand their own powerlessness.
Or actively rejecting reality and having projections of fantasy in its place.
Many people opt to superimpose the idea of fantasy as a preferred reality.
Many people are good at rationalising desire and have idealisation as fact.
This is regardless of if such ideas have actually been experienced or proven.

#V. The 2nd SURVIVAL SKILLS:

i. POLISHED PERSUASION #3--->

The Warm warning of PERSUASION is: Never Ever Criticise others.
The Loaded Law of PERSUASION is: Unconditional Appreciation.
The Concise creed of PERSUASION is: Empathetic Understanding.
The Formidable Formula of PERSUASION is: Pricking Others’ Ego.
The Categorical Conviction of PERSUASION is: Finding No Fault.
The Decisive Declaration of PERSUASION is: Minimising Negatives.
The Amorous Assertion of PERSUASION is: Maximising Positives.

ii. POLISHED PERSUASION #4--->

Persuasion is a game of psychology; not beauty, or muscular build up.
And it is within the grasp of anyone to become a master at the game.
All that is required is that you look at the world in a different manner.
You have to interpret events and issues through the eyes of a seducer.
A seducer does not turn the power off and on; no moment to waste.
Every social and personal interaction is seen as a potential seduction.
Toning down the romantic element in you, without getting rid of it.

iii. AMICABLE APPROACH #4--->

Most relationship give not romance and devotion but routine and a distracted mate.
It is an abiding fantasy to meet one who gives totally of oneself, who lives for you.
Intense and unrelenting desire has an enduring distracting power on any human being.
Consumed by your attentions, one will be confident you will do anything for him or her.
Operating on a partners’s basic emotions, transforms him or her into a childish slave.
The key is to clear all insecurities, handle all fears, and make the future certain.
Use words not to convey information but to persuade, flatter, stir emotional turmoil.

iv. AMICABLE APPROACH #5--->

To be a great LOVER, do not offer the mild pleasures that most people always offers.
Touch a partner’s unconscious, those repressed desires that cry out for liberation.
To be a great LOVER, the most obvious requirement is the ability to let yourself go.
To draw a partner into a purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning.
You must be able to abandon yourself to the moment; discarding off all inhibitions.
Immersing yourself to the partner, makes one feel that you exist for him or her alone.
In this way you will arouse the feeling that he or she is the only one you truly love.

v. AMICABLE APPROACH #6--->

Having experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past, one will try to relive it.
The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are those from earliest childhood.
These deep early memories are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure.
Bring your targets back to that early point, by positioning them as the needy child.
Unaware of the cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you.
You too can regress, letting them play the role of the protecting, nursing parent.
This offers the fantasy of having an intimatacy with mommy or daddy, son or daughter.

vi. INDOCTRINATION INNOCULATION #2--->

If you do not own your mind, you are a pawn in a game where you are not the player.
Indoctrination is an impairment of autonomy, and inability to think independently.
It is the involuntary disruption and reeducation of basic beliefs, affiliations and values.
It is bringing one under another’s thumbs and manipulating him/her seemingly willingly.
So, decrypt the sensational spin; “experts generally agree” or “recent surveys find”.
Just because a survey says something, does not mean you have to believe in it blindly.
Even if it is from a reputable source, keep in mind that everyone has a hidden agenda.

vii. TOXIC TRAIT #2--->
Suffocator

Suffocators fall in love with you before you are even half-aware of their existence.
This trait is highly deceptive and may blind you; they are quick to blindly adore you.
The fact is that they suffer from an inner void, a deep well of need that cannot be filled.
You will exhaust yourself in satisfying their desires, so never get involved with them.
They are hard to free yourself from, without trauma, which is emotionally devastating.
They cling until you are forced to pull back, as they smother you with a sense of guilt.
In normal situations we tend to idealize a loved one, but love takes time to develop.



#VI. The 2nd SELFHOOD SERMON:

This then is the 2nd VERITABLE VALUATION of BEYONDISM: Pray, Believe, Interact, Work, Penetrate, Live and Actualise.--->

This then is the 2nd VERITABLE VALUATION of BEYONDISM: Pray, Believe, Interact, Work, Penetrate, Live and Actualise.--->

This SELFHOOD SERMON is the indispensable condition for authenticity, for in a resolute self-immersal upon the world, as a conscious human being, you appropriates your unique past, and anticipates your future and integrates both of them in a creative affirmation of the ‘present’ as the opportune time for decisive action. The idea of ‘present’ was put in the right context by French philosopher Henri-Louis Bergson (1859 - 1941): “You define the present in an arbitrary manner as that which is, whereas the present is simply what is being made...When we think this present as going to be, it exists not yet; and when we think it as existing, it is already past”.



  • PRAY
  • BELIEVE
  • INTERACT
  • WORK
  • PENETRATE
  • LIVE
  • ACTUALISE

#2.1. PRAY
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHICH must be your PERPETUAL PRAYER?

Verily, verily, your momentous, persuasive, ‘Perpetual Prayer’;
Affluently, as an invocation that really serves as the key,
Laudably, of the early morning and the bolt of the evening,
Unlimitedly, is that, envy and intolerance may be divorced,
Audaciously, from all the innards, and confines of your LIFE.
Tenaciously, for envy and intolerance are the fierce enemies,
Efficaciously, of correct understanding, and pure perceptions.

#2.2. BELIEVE
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHAT ought to be your BASIC BELIEFS?

Verily, verily, your guiding generalisations and ‘Basic Beliefs’;
Affluently, should not, be taking criticism as never agreeable.
Laudably, but whether constructive or not, as very necessary,
Unlimitedly, fulfilling the same function as the pain in the body,
Audaciously, by calling attention to an unhealthy state of things.
Tenaciously, accept your weaknesses and you will improve on.
Efficaciously, reverting to a state of denial will keep you stunted.

#2.3. INTERACT
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHO should be your CHARMING COMPANIONS?

Verifiably, your LIFE-advancing ‘Charming Companions’;
Affluently, are all who can stand by you in time of need,
Laudably, and who should be selected with all diligence,
Unlimitedly, in accordance with your keen sound judgment,
Audaciously, avoiding all factious and tumultuous clamours;
Tenaciously, for from the collision of discordant elements,
Efficaciously, both sparks and flame will arise to devour you.

#2.4. WORK
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
HOW should you go about your DAILY DUTIES?

Verily, verily, the modalities of going about your ‘Daily Duties’;
Affluently, is knowing that, you are not bound to always win,
Laudably, or to succeed in every task you undertake to do.
Unlimitedly, but you are always bound to be true to yourself,
Audaciously, and to live by the light that you have within you;
Tenaciously, standing with people that stands right and clean,
Efficaciously, and parting with them in the event they go wrong.

#2.5. PENETRATE
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHERE can you find a PENETRATING PATH?

Verily, verily, you can only find your sure ‘Penetrating Path’;
Affluently, if you take it that, the greatness your character,
Laudably, will be judged by the solidity of your patience.
Unlimitedly, for the supreme serene worth of your patience,
Audaciously, will transcend and endure to the end of time.
Tenaciously, for a living faith will last and outmaneuver all,
Efficaciously, in the midst of the tempest and blackest storm.

#2.6. LIVE
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHY are you in this WONDERFUL WORLD?

Verily, verily, you are rightfully in this ‘Wonderful World;
Affluently, to indulge in the nurturance of self-control.
Laudably, for you to enjoy such a relatively good health,
Unlimitedly, to bring true happiness to yourself and others,
Audaciously, you must discipline and control your own mind.
Tenaciously, in this way you will find your only enlightenment,
Efficaciously, as wisdom, and virtue, will naturally come to you.

#2.7. ACTUALISE
As a ‘Yearning Youth’ and a ‘Serious Scholar’,
WHEN are you really HOLISTICALLY HUMAN?

Verily, verily, you are at the citadel of ‘Holistic Humanness’;
Affluently, when you are armed by the spirit of forgiveness.
Laudably, the weak always revengeful, can never forgive.
Unlimitedly, forgiveness is a virtue attributable to the strong.
Audaciously, because an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,
Tenaciously, will only end up, making the whole world blind.
Efficaciously, will in the final tally, leave everyone toothless.














#VII. The 2nd ESTEEMED EXPLORATION:

THE pursuit of self-knowledge,--->

is a priviledge and a responsibility that all of us can use to advantage. In developing your own self-analysis, begin by investigating one problem area that you can clearly identify. Each analysis produces its own sequence or order of events.

HALF-RIDDEN problems,--->

need not be tackled immediately. They will emerge in the course of analysis if they are genuine problems. Nor is it necessary to feel that you should explore every aspect of your inner life. It is necessary to begin with the problems that are obvious to you.

EXEMPLIFIED here,--->

is the instance where you may be concerned about your relationship with your parents. You would begin your analysis by making free associations (verbalising whatever comes to mind no matter how insignificant, trivial, or even unpleasant the idea might be) about your parents. When thoughts stop flowing or a particular item provokes your curiousity, you might stop and begin tentatively to interpret your findings.

REALLY, this in essence,--->

is the heart of analytic process: free association followed by reflection of your thoughts. In the process, you may discover certain resistances that impede your analytic work. Further free association is helpful in dealing with such resistances.

ACTUALLY, in working--->

through a problem, sometimes it helps to raise specific questions. You might ask, “Is my relationship a matter of concern?” “Are the interpersonal standards that I have set commensurate with my abilities and willingness to change things?” “Can I identify specific problems areas?”

PROBING is what--->

you must continue doing, “In my own opinion, what am I doing that might account for a poorer relationship than I desire?” “What is the simplest thing that I might do about it?”

YEARNING to rephrase--->

these questions to take account of other problems is very benefical. Raising questions like these and attempting to answer them can set tendencies toward growth in motion.



THERAPEAUTIC TRANSACTION #2:

“You can make something of your life, it just depends on your drive.” - American rapper, songwriter and record producer Eminem (b. 1972). Here are SEVEN ways on how to EFFICIENTLY ENNOBLE your motives:--->

“You can make something of your life, it just depends on your drive.” - American rapper, songwriter and record producer Eminem (b. 1972). Here are SEVEN ways on how to EFFICIENTLY ENNOBLE your motives:--->

BASIC PROGRESSIVE STRESS MANAGEMENT SKILLS:

Ours is a hectic world whereby internal and external sources are threating to offset our individual emotional balance. From our studies, to our chores, to our friends, to our families, time and time we find ourselves in situations bombarded by issues which may make us unable to cope. This is when we find ourselves stressed. No one can be able to escape from stress, but learning stress management skills is a key to living productively in this fast paced world.



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i. Etymologically, the word stress is derived from Old French word estresse, meaning “narrowness”, as borrowed from Latin word strictus, meaning “compressed”. The term stress refers to people’s physical and psychological reactions to demanding situations, hereby named stressors. There is a three phase model (General Adaptation Syndrome, GAS) that explains the way in which the body reacts to stress. In the first stage of Alarm Reaction, the body becomes energised (and ready for fight or flight) following the activation of the sympathetic division of the automatic nervous system. The physiological responses that are triggered include increased heart and perspiration rates, blood flow to muscles, and secretion of hormones. These changes prepare the body for defense or evasive action. If the threat continues but is not severe to sustain the alarm reaction, the body enters into the second phase of Resistance. The arousal level remains higher than normal but the body is able to replenish some of its resources. During this phase, people are able to function reasonably well, but they are vulnerable to other stressors in the environment. If the body cannot find a way to neutralise the threat, the body enters the third phase of Exhaustion. The body is unable to sustain a heightened state and energy reserves become depleted (one freezes). Resistance declines and the stress reaction becomes more and more maladaptive, leading to negative consequences.

ii. Nothing is far from truth. We should understand that the body’s response to stress may not be as that general. Further, the stress reaction is influenced by the individual’s cognitive interpretation of the stressor. This means that different individuals may react differently to the same stressor and what may be perceived as stressful by one individual may not be a stressor to another. While the concept of stress is often associated with negative consequences, it is important for us to appreciate that up to a certain point, stress has motivational benefits. Reasonable levels of stress may encourage individuals to strive hard in their work, leading to satisfaction that derives from success in surmounting challenges.

iii. Notably, there are three broad sources of stress: Frustration, Conflict and Pressure. Frustration occurs when one’s personal, work and family goals are blocked. When people feel they cannot achieve their goals they feel frustrated. Conflict occurs when one has to make a choice between two or more mutually exclusive motives or goals. This implies that one can only achieve a single goal and not both. There are four types of conflict. In ‘Approach-Approach Conflict’, one has two competing goals each of these goals is attractive but only one goal can be achieved. For instance one may have a good job offer and a scholarship offer. In ‘Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict’, one has to choose between two unpleasant motives. For instance choosing between going for a surgery to get an amputation and staying with a cancerous leg. In ‘Approach-Avoidance Conflict’ one has a goal but it has both a pleasant and unpleasant aspect to it. For instance one may get a marriage proposal from a very good looking, successful and well to do person, who is known for his violent temper. In ‘Double Approach-Avoidance Conflict’ one has two competing conflicts both of which they have a pleasant and an unpleasant to aspect it. Pressure occurs when one strives to meet social and psychological demands one imposes on oneself and those imposed by others. Internal pressure results when one attempts to maintain ones self-esteem by forcing oneself to achieve higher standards, such as studying so hard to maintain high grades. External pressures results from demands other people make on a person. Most of time people work so hard to achieve standards set by significant others.

iv. Occassionally, if not oftenly, stress is part of our day to day lives. However, if a person experiences intense and prolonged stress they may end up with disastrous effects. Some of these effects include ulcers, migrain, headaches, asthma, high blood pressure and coronary heart diseases. One my also suffer Burn out. This is the depletion of our physical and mental resources. It usually occurs when we have more energy going out than coming in. The symptoms of burn out include: Exhaustion - feeling tired and fatigued, Detachment - refusing to get emotionally close to people, Boredom - starting to question the value of things and feeling bored with life, Impatience - becoming irritable with other people.

v. Before anything else, the first step to handle your stress effectively is Time Management. Most of people feel stressed because they find that they cannot do things on time. This usually results from the fact that most people are yet to learn how to spend time efficiently to accomplish their goals. Therefore, time management involves developing skills for learning how to use time effectively to accomplish goals. One of the best ways to manage your time is by developing a ‘to-do-list’. This is a list that clearly states what you would like to accomplish on a daily basis. Towards this end you should review your goals, think of those that need urgent attention; write down the activities you want to accomplish the next day; number the activities in order of importance; estimate the amount of time required to accomplish each activity; schedule the activity for specific times of the day. Delegate duties. Avoid perfectionism. Be flexible. The second step is learning Problem Solving techniques. This is a series of steps to apply to a difficult situation to help you make responsible decision. Identify the cause of stress and anxiety. Identify alternative ways to cope with the situation. Evaluate alternative ways you could use to cope with stress. Choose responsible action you can take to cope with stress. Then evaluate the choice. That is to inquire to see if the action you decided on has helped alleviate the stress level. Sometimes you might find it hard to go through these stages all alone. You might need assistance to successfully go through all these stages. At this point you need to see a counsellor, colleague, friend or relative to speak to and get assistance.

vi. Learning to exercise is also very vital in dealing with stress. Regular participation in physical activity has been related to improved physical and psychological health. A person who regularly exercises for 25 minutes at least three times a week experiences increased physical and psychological well-being. The most recommended exercises are those that task the cardio-vascular system such as a brisk walk, swimming, running, and cycling. After a stress event, the body through the actions of the nervous systems induces relaxation. However you can help your body relax by the use of self-induced relaxation. They include meditation, yoga, and deep breathing among others. People generally react best to LIFE when they have had a good night’s sleep. We all need between 6-9 hours of sleep. Therefore when stressed ensure that you get enough sleep.

vii. Eventually, let us focus on the two broad types of coping strategies; problem-focused coping and emotion-focused coping. In emotion-focused coping, we may try to short-circuit negative emotions by taking some action to modify, avoid, or minimise the threatening situation, by changing our behaviour in dealing with the stressful situation. In problem-focused coping, we may try to directly moderate or eliminate unpleasant emotions, by either rethinking the situation in a positive way or by relaxation. However in a deeply sincere manner, Problem-focused coping is the most effective coping strategy when we have realistic opportunities to change aspects of our situation. Emotion-focused coping is only useful as a short-term strategy, for it can help in reducing one’s arousal level before engaging in problem-solving and taking action and it can help us deal with stress situations in which there are few problem-focused coping options. Armed with these two essential coping strategies, we can be able to clasp the spiraling waves of stressful situations on our life and swiftly turn them into a snowball of ‘existential’ hard cash, for our ultimate general welfare.
















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